what...ever

I haven't been here in a while it would seem.

I dreamed last night that I went to pick up my Mom's prescriptions and was accidentally given this stuff that made you stop smoking. But it was also truth serum and I knew nothing about it. The rest of the dream consisted of me composing emails to anyone who could know about this medicine.

I had 6 months off of quitting heroin this past week...but I can not seem to leave this smoking habit behind.

Perhaps the dream meant I needed more self honesty… Continue

I watched my Dad die of lung cancer..as well as my husband.
My Dad was on life support the last two weeks of his life....and finally asked to have it removed.

Pee...my sweetie...his Mom was removed from life support today.

In her honor I am posting this...and for Pee, who is one of the brave watching a parent die changes one...forever.
There is more...somewhere...over the rainbow....



And never doubt...no one reinfirces life and it's wonder..and the reasons for keeping on...… Continue

Ok..maybe my sense of humor sucks.

But I keep thinking that line and giggling.

Why...my...empathy has kicked back in...and it seems to also have a few additions.

Now I know this will make me sound nuts...so if it is all too much, rest assured that I also believe in aliens.
And that we as a race might have...um...been created by them.

I think so and that's all that matters to me really.

Anyway...empathy.

I try and develop empathy as a matter of compassion...of intellectually understanding o… Continue

I had ceramic tile installed in my family room...it's beautiful...black with black grout...shows everything...

I realized today that I don't know Pee.
What's his favorite flower?
I know...think...purple is his favorite color.
He likes Furby?

I suppose I know more about him than I realized...I just didn't know his favorite flower.

Bill's was Pansies.

His favorite color was definitely blue.

He ...didn't like Furby.

But he always bought me roses...and my favorite flowers are those fancy orchi… Continue

I'm painting....my entire downstairs interior...including wood trim...lots, and lots...of wood trim.
I need to get the family room done by Thursday...I know when I can not do it myself and installing my new flooring turns out to be a bit more complex than my experience allows.
So I am also working with my brother in law's schedule.

I was pretty confident I could get it done...just part of this wall and that one and the trim...yeah...there are rafters and cabinets, and some shelves.....but I can… Continue