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Working moms?

Right now, we've got a harsh discussion here in Germany: Should mothers of small kids (under 3) work and leave the kids in day nurseries? Or stay at home and take care of the kids themselves? Sometimes it feels like kind of a religious war between the supporters of the different points of views: "A kid under 3 needs his mother 24 hours a day, otherwise it will suffer too much psychological stress!" versus "Kids like being together with other kids and as long as there is at least one stable relationship to a nursery-school teacher, everything's fine!"

What do you think? What are your experiences? And how is this question handled in your country?

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Permalink Reply by Ariella on June 14, 2008 at 2:54am: In the U.S. it's pretty much the same thing. It depends on the community/state/city.

I find that ultra-religious people stick to the "a woman's place is the home."
Some people stay home until children reach pre-school or school age and then go back to work.
Many people fall in between the two camps.

To me, I think it's important for the mother to be with baby for the first three or four months. I find day care to be germ incubators. Most people call out sick from work because of a sick child. In the U.S., people work like dogs. Maternity/family leave is complicated and can be tricky to get. Also, finding affordable and reliable daycare can be difficult for the working poor.

Many corporations are not working mother/family-friendly. I like reading Working Mother as much as I enjoy reading Mothering. I think most people want to earn a living and enjoy their families.

Does your country have a magazine like Working Mother?

Ariella; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on June 14, 2008 at 5:54pm: That's interesting! I just checked and did not find anything comparable to your "Working Mother" magazine (which doesn't suprise me at all!). Of course there a lots of magazins like "Mothering" around in Germany, but I think the idea of working moms is still not popular enough to publish a special magazine here. I'll keep an eye on the market to see when this will change .. ;-); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by angel on July 22, 2008 at 10:34pm: hi i'm a pre-school teatcher and i worked with kids under 3 years... i saw that a lot of mothers doesn't know their own kids what they need what they like what they eat.. it's a sensitive age and they needs their moms. it's okay if a mom has 2 leave her bady for few time in a nursery but not all dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy like some does... but any women needs 2 work even moms.. they just have 2 know what kind of work and leave sometimes to the babies... 4 me i don't like when a women stay at home but in the same time she has to know what's better 4 her own kids.... 6 hours of works houl b enough 4 a mom who has kids under 3 years and after that it's her choice... by the way it's a nice group.. i' new here and english isn't my langage.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by mermadebaubles on August 21, 2008 at 4:34pm: Lets not forget the dads either. My husband stayed at home with our kids when they where young while I worked. I felt better that they had a connection with at least one of us. Don't get me wrong, I had a connection with them too, but I think that was only possible because they where home with dad. If they where at a preschool, it would be more difficult to establish a relationship with both parents unless the preschool teacher was friends with the parents.

I think it is absolutely necessary to be home with kids until at LEAST 2. It is too bad parents now days pretty much HAVE to go to work in order to survive. :/ I think knowing what your kid needs, what they like to eat, what their personality is is imperative to what sort of relationship you have with them when they are older. I think it also helps them define who they are as people.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by charmaine on September 17, 2008 at 5:53pm: yes it is difficult but the way things are going here in south africa you have to work or there will be no food on the table for the kids to eat , so what will it be , food for the kids or stay at home mom. i would love to stay home with my kids but i can not . my kids do understand . my daughter which is 4years old goes to pre school from 6;30 in the morning till 5;30 in the evening and she seems fine with that , if i dont do that then i can not feed my kids.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on September 18, 2008 at 10:58am: Thanks for sharing, Charmaine, I think this is one of the very important issues many people tend to forget when discussing this topic!!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by salma on September 20, 2008 at 2:41pm: I agree with you Charmaine,

women used to work for thier rights, freedom and independance, but as life becoming

very difficult sometime they are forced to work and struggle..; ▶ Reply to This