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Is there Worth in Waiting?

heard some stories that there is a prize in waiting. Like a lover waited for his love amidst uncertainties, surpassing loneliness and longings and came through all agonizing patience which also paid for he had his love at last. Yes, it might be the sweetest thing I heard and even hoped that I, too, will get the same. Yet, I'm not sure if I can wait that long, not even knowing how long I'll be waiting. And if I'd wait that long, will I get the same prize too?

We actually never had a committed relationship. But we're good friends. Still, I came to hope when he told me that I was the most special girl he ever had, that I'm his inspiration in everything he does, that I made him turn back to God, and that he is always thankful that I came. Even so, our communication stopped when he decided to join the missionary. He even added that I enlightened him that's why he wanted to become a missionary. That time, he wasn't sure if he's saying goodbye to forever. But, after a year, he came back, searching for me with all his effort. We kept in touch despite some restrictions and we managed keeping in touch for weeks.He even confessed that sometimes, when he's in the midst of his missions, thoughts of me just suddenly lingers on his mind without him knowing why. God, how it overwhelms me to hear that. Until one day, he was suddenly gone without a word. I wonder if he was on his missions again or he just can't or don't want to keep in touch with me. But I feel that in my heart, he's just somewhere doing his missionary works and can't find a way to reach me. Still, there is worry, doubts and fears that he might not come back again or the wait I'm making is useless.

But, how can I take for granted those time when he confessed to his aunt that the name he uttered while he was asleep was mine. And how special I felt when the day he went to the missionary, his aunt personally thanked me for what I've done to her nephew. Of course, I can't just ignore that. It's the memory that keeps me clinging and hoping that he'll be back for me and tell me that we'll be together.

Should it be worth waiting?

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Permalink Reply by Corrina on January 7, 2009 at 7:01pm: I hope you're not waiting with blinders on. Meaning I hope you're not waiting and ignore all the other nice men who might be trying to meet you. It sounds to me like this guy takes your for granted and the fact you're always there when "HE" is ready for "YOU". You have given this man everything but what, really, has he given you? A little bit of his affection? Is the self pain you're putting on yourself really worth something like just a little affection when he is ready to give it to you? Where is he when you need him? Why are you always there when he needs you? Relationships are about give and take. Not take take take from 1 side. A con will use the same line as long as it keeps working.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by kring_girl on January 8, 2009 at 10:27am: Hello Corrina,

Thanks for the reply. It made me think of that possibility which I have just taken for granted when I was contemplating on the emotion I had on it. Well, I ha also thought about that but, considering that I found the man to be having the qualities I ideally look for in choosing my partner, I then hoped to have him one day, if granted. I somehow believe that if we find the right one, we shouldn't let go, if possible. He wasn't around with me because he couldn't because he was a missionary. He never promised me anything but the only thing that he left me was a "genuine affection" which made me cling to hope.

But if time will offer me someone possible, like him, then I guess, I would have to end the hope and move on.

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Permalink Reply by Corrina on January 9, 2009 at 5:42pm: Missionary or not I'm sure he knows how to read and write. There is such a thing called mail. If my brother can get letters out of Iraq surely you're friend can get them out from where ever he is at. I'm sorry, somedays are great but we have to look at our todays or else next thing we'll know they'll be our yesterdays. Is the prospects of growing old alone worth waiting for a man? I think not.For your sake I hope life offers you someone better than him. Someone who is willing to be there for you as much as you are for him. That's what you should look for. Someone willing to give as much as they take. THAT is a partner.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by kring_girl on January 19, 2009 at 8:47am: THAT is a partner. THAT is another worth in waiting.

hello Corrina!

I clearly got your point now. Thanks for the comfort. Seriously, I am comforted. ;-)
Well, what more can I say? Asking and seeking for a good partner still leads us to waiting while grabbing chances.

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