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Personal Safety for Woman
First let me start by give a little backgroung information on myself. I am a police officer, in the USA, and grew up in a very large city but have sense moved to a small town.
Now, with that being said I want to address something that every woman, world wide, should think about and make ACTIVE steps to insure. That "something" is your personal safety. Most attacks against persons are against children, the elderly, and women. Why? Because they are "easy" targets. Most attackers are, also, men.
I know that some of you are sitting there thinking, "How can I defend myself against a man who is stronger than me? Or, yeah, you know how to defend yourself because you've been trained to do so. Or, even sadder, if I fight I'll just get hurt even more." "It will never happen to me." I'll address each of these things.
First, You can defend yourself against a "stronger" man. It's not about being stronger it's about being smarter. It's about having a plan for if and when it ever happens. Here are some simple steps you can take to help you if the situation ever comes.
1. Be aware of what is going on around you. Most attackers are looking to suprise you. They don't want you to see them coming until it's too late. Before you get out of your car or first come out of a building look around. Not just glance but really look. If something doesn't look right your brain will tell you something isn't right. Trust it and don't ignore it. Don't go near the situation.
2. Have a plan set in you mind of what you will do if you do attacked. Imagin it and say," Okay, if this happens then I'll do this, this, and this. If this happens, then I'll do that, that, and that." I know it's not fun thinking about these things but if it happens your mind won't panic because you've planned for just this situation. It works, I promise.
3. Scream, fight, bite, claw,kick, whatever it takes. If you have keys in your hand USE them. It hurts to catch the sharp edges of keys in the face. If you have a purse hit him with it. Remember, 90% of your attackers are looking for an easy target. A fighing screaming woman is Not an easy target. Not only that she is drawing attention to herself and he dang sure doesn't want that.
4. Take a self defense class. I can't recommend this strongly enough! They help.
5. Try really hard not to park your car in a dark area. If it can't be helped try to have someone else walk out to your car with you. Most attackers won't even think about attacking 2 people. If you can't find someone to walk out with you then pay attention to what is going on around you. Have your keys in you hand ready to unlock your car just a soon as you get to it. They can be used as a weapon. As you're walking up to your car look in the back seat. Make sure there isn't someone in there. Once inside your car lock the door. If you have a cell phone keep it handy.
Second, I was a female long before I was a cop. I was attacked twice and both times I had a plan and managed to walk away without serious injury.
Third, yes, you will likely get hurt but getting hurt a little sure beats being raped or killed. Stitches, a black eye, maybe even a broken bone is much better than never going home or the violation a woman feels when she is raped. I've seen that kind of hurt first hand and it's take a very long time to get over. Be ready to get hurt and accept it.
Fourth, watch the news or pick up a paper. This world is become more and more violent each day. A woman gets attack ever 2 seconds and in some place less than that. Studies say that every woman in the world will be attacked atlest once in her lifetime. So really, it's not a matter of if but more a matter of when. To an attacker you're a nobody special. You're just a target to be used and then left.
Finally, I understand that this isn't stuff you want to think about but you need to. Not just for your sake but for your families sake, as well. Sadly, woman are still being taught that they are supose to be helpless quiet danty females. This line of thinking will get you hurt. It's okay to be a lady but, in the back of your mind, plan to be a survivor and not a victim. I'm sure some of my wording or my advice may have shocked you but it was ment to and I'm not sorry. Being attacked is a hard cold reality and it needs to be met with hard cold advice.
One more thing to leave you with. Last year I taugh a woman's self defence class to a group of college girls. Most of them laughed it off but one girl nearly cried at the things I taught them and showed them. She told me that she didn't think she could ever be that "mean" to a person. I'll be honest, I wrote her off as a lost cause. I figured she would be a victim one day. Two months ago, I ran into that same girl and she thanked me. She was attacked by a mugger and she remember the stuff I had taught in the class. She told me that she did some of the things I taught and all she walked away with was a few bruises but the mugger didn't get her money or her car keys. So, if a sweet little and I do mean little college girl can take care of herself so can you but it's up to you.
Now, with that being said I want to address something that every woman, world wide, should think about and make ACTIVE steps to insure. That "something" is your personal safety. Most attacks against persons are against children, the elderly, and women. Why? Because they are "easy" targets. Most attackers are, also, men.
I know that some of you are sitting there thinking, "How can I defend myself against a man who is stronger than me? Or, yeah, you know how to defend yourself because you've been trained to do so. Or, even sadder, if I fight I'll just get hurt even more." "It will never happen to me." I'll address each of these things.
First, You can defend yourself against a "stronger" man. It's not about being stronger it's about being smarter. It's about having a plan for if and when it ever happens. Here are some simple steps you can take to help you if the situation ever comes.
1. Be aware of what is going on around you. Most attackers are looking to suprise you. They don't want you to see them coming until it's too late. Before you get out of your car or first come out of a building look around. Not just glance but really look. If something doesn't look right your brain will tell you something isn't right. Trust it and don't ignore it. Don't go near the situation.
2. Have a plan set in you mind of what you will do if you do attacked. Imagin it and say," Okay, if this happens then I'll do this, this, and this. If this happens, then I'll do that, that, and that." I know it's not fun thinking about these things but if it happens your mind won't panic because you've planned for just this situation. It works, I promise.
3. Scream, fight, bite, claw,kick, whatever it takes. If you have keys in your hand USE them. It hurts to catch the sharp edges of keys in the face. If you have a purse hit him with it. Remember, 90% of your attackers are looking for an easy target. A fighing screaming woman is Not an easy target. Not only that she is drawing attention to herself and he dang sure doesn't want that.
4. Take a self defense class. I can't recommend this strongly enough! They help.
5. Try really hard not to park your car in a dark area. If it can't be helped try to have someone else walk out to your car with you. Most attackers won't even think about attacking 2 people. If you can't find someone to walk out with you then pay attention to what is going on around you. Have your keys in you hand ready to unlock your car just a soon as you get to it. They can be used as a weapon. As you're walking up to your car look in the back seat. Make sure there isn't someone in there. Once inside your car lock the door. If you have a cell phone keep it handy.
Second, I was a female long before I was a cop. I was attacked twice and both times I had a plan and managed to walk away without serious injury.
Third, yes, you will likely get hurt but getting hurt a little sure beats being raped or killed. Stitches, a black eye, maybe even a broken bone is much better than never going home or the violation a woman feels when she is raped. I've seen that kind of hurt first hand and it's take a very long time to get over. Be ready to get hurt and accept it.
Fourth, watch the news or pick up a paper. This world is become more and more violent each day. A woman gets attack ever 2 seconds and in some place less than that. Studies say that every woman in the world will be attacked atlest once in her lifetime. So really, it's not a matter of if but more a matter of when. To an attacker you're a nobody special. You're just a target to be used and then left.
Finally, I understand that this isn't stuff you want to think about but you need to. Not just for your sake but for your families sake, as well. Sadly, woman are still being taught that they are supose to be helpless quiet danty females. This line of thinking will get you hurt. It's okay to be a lady but, in the back of your mind, plan to be a survivor and not a victim. I'm sure some of my wording or my advice may have shocked you but it was ment to and I'm not sorry. Being attacked is a hard cold reality and it needs to be met with hard cold advice.
One more thing to leave you with. Last year I taugh a woman's self defence class to a group of college girls. Most of them laughed it off but one girl nearly cried at the things I taught them and showed them. She told me that she didn't think she could ever be that "mean" to a person. I'll be honest, I wrote her off as a lost cause. I figured she would be a victim one day. Two months ago, I ran into that same girl and she thanked me. She was attacked by a mugger and she remember the stuff I had taught in the class. She told me that she did some of the things I taught and all she walked away with was a few bruises but the mugger didn't get her money or her car keys. So, if a sweet little and I do mean little college girl can take care of herself so can you but it's up to you.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on -
Thanks a million, Corrina, for this wonderful thread! When I just read it, I had goose bumps all over my back, but not because I was shocked! It just so much reminded me of a woman's self defence class I took many years ago (the technique was called Wen-Do which means "way of women", I don't know if it exists in the USA as well?) and the things the teacher taught us. This Wen-Do thing is taught only by women to women, no men involved and I really learned a lot from it. The most important points I found in your thread as well:
1. Don't think of a man as being stronger than you, as someone whom you as a woman can't overpower. Instead, learn to look at a man as a conglomeration of "weak points" (the genitals are only ONE of them, and by far not the most important one, as this is the point he himself is aware of and is likely to defend. There are many, many more of them he is NOT aware of and this is your chance!).
2. Don't think of yourself as a potential helpless victim! That's what society keeps telling us - ever watched a thriller movie? The common scene is: a man attacks a woman, the woman either does nothing (but moaning weakly) or else beats his chest with her fists (useless, of course, as the chest is not one of his weak points!). Instead, think of yourself as a strong, self-assured woman who is able and willing to defend herself - even at the cost of "being naughty" or "being mean"! (I really liked the story about your college girl, that's exactly the point!) Be ready and make a decision up-front (BEFORE being in danger): A man who is trying to attack you has lost any right to be treated "nicely" by you! Treat him as badly as necessary to escape! Remember the Obama slogan which made him president: "Yes, we can!"
3. Always be aware of what's going around instead of sticking your head in the sand. Your intuition works a thousand times faster than your cerebral cortex - trust it! Never question a "weird feeling" about someone or a situation! The elevator's door opens, there's only one man in it, and you don't like the sight of him? Don't enter! Someone's walking behind you on a lonely dark street, getting closer, making your knees tremble? Don't think about being wrong, about being impolite, about being called hysterical, about making a fool of yourself! This might be about your physical integrity, if not your life! It's not a good time to think about good manners! It's a time to act, to defend yourself, no matter what.
4. And Corinna is absolutely right: Be ready, have a plan. Of course, you can't anticipate any situation you might come across. However, you can anticipate many. When going out, take a quick mental walk through the route you'll take today. Are there any "critical" spots (such as lonesome aisles, dark paths with bushels right and left, deserted parking lots? How can you avoid them or make them more secure (the way Corinna described it so well)? What are the "weapons" you have at hand - and I'm not speaking about having a butterfly knife or tear gas, as these can be used against you should you lose them in a fight. Think about the things Corinna mentioned - your fingernails (you bite them? stop it at once!), your keys, your umbrella, your purse, your pencil, whatever. Be creative. And have something at hand - no time to rummage around in your handbag maybe! You lack any ideas? Enter a self defence class for women (I agree with Corinna, there's nothing better than that!), read books about the topic (one of my favorites is: "Her Wits About Her: Self Defence Success Stories by Women" by Denise Caignon and Gail Groves).
If you don't do it for yourself, do it for the ones who love you! They wouldn't want you to be a helpless victim, would they? And who knows - maybe you'll once be in a situation where you not only have to defend yourself, but your child or your best friend as well. So be prepared. As Corinna said, it's not a matter of if, but more a matter of when.
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Permalink Reply by nalini on -
Thank you very much! Both of you, Corrina and Felicitas.
It made me want to take up martial arts classes again. And this time I won't chicken out when they ask me to break tiles.
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Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on
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Absolutely! Breaking tiles is sooooo great!! I kept my first one for about 15 years, just to remind me of what I can do!
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Permalink Reply by salma on -
Thank you so much officer;
You are absolutely right, really our world is not secure any more ..
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Permalink Reply by Corrina on -
As a police officer I wish, every day, that I didn't have to tell women what I've wrote about here. I love my job but would gladly give it up for a safe world. However,its not going to happen and people need to be ready for that. I'm not trying to sounds like Miss Doom but what I see everyday is a fact of life and it can't nor shouldn't be ignored. I will answer any questions you may have. As a police officer it is my duty to help people but it's as a woman that I feel the strongest desire to reach out and help other woman.
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Permalink Reply by Asyikeen on -
Hey thanks for the share! I took up martial arts classes through my college. But what I realised is that it's not enough. What I was learning was for competition like how to score the most points in a match etc. In real life, its not about scoring points and there wont be a referee blowing the whistle on an illegal move. So i got into kapap (to complement my martial arts) that was very practical and taught real life fighting. Just a share:)
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Permalink Reply by Corrina on
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I'm glad you realized that wasn't enough. Street fighing is dirty with no rules. In situations like this it's all about winning.
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Permalink Reply by Crystal on -
Thank you for sharing this.
This is one of the most important threads that should be shown to women.
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Permalink Reply by Corrina on
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To all of those who have post on this thank you. I'm glad you took the time to read it. To those of you who haven't posted I truely hope you've read this. Not because I take pride in seeing people thank me but because I want women to be informed. Again, I wish I wouldn't of had to of written this. Sense the last time I wrote this my sister-in-law was attacked in a busy mall parking lot and she got away. She called me a few hours later upset and brused up but she was ok. I had taughted her many of the same things I talked about here. She used her keys against the attacker and a few hours later the cops found him at a hospital getting stitched up. He was arrested and will go to trial for the attack. They also found out this wasn't his first attack. Sense the time of his arrest 4 other woman have come forward stating he had attacked them as well. Again, it's not a matter of when anymore but only a matter of time. And if the sister-in-law of a cop can get attacked then why can't you?
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