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Women Unable to Disconnect Mentally Compared to Men
Women have a habit of replaying an argument that may have happened a while ago, over and over again in their minds till it becomes mentally exhausting. In that sense, men are able to disconnect from unpleasant scenarios mentally, and engage themselves in the task at hand whole-heartedly. Maybe, this has something to do with the way a woman’s brain is structured – women, have different brain structures from their male counterparts, so it has been proved. And it is for this difference that women are able to multi-task better. But it has its cons – their ability to multi task also equips them with the ability to think of ‘n’ number of things at one time, which is not true for men. That is why, even while a woman is at work, one part of her mind is irked by an argument she had with her husband the previous evening and it keeps going round and round in her mind.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on -
That's an interesting point of view. I remember a prof at my university who developed a concept of two different ways to react on challenging, frustrating or annoying situations. He claimed that there are people who are more "action oriented": they check out the problem, then go to find a solution. If this is not possible (e. g. because the argument took place a while ago and there's no more chance to change what happened), they drop the subject and focus their mind on the here and now without any problem. The other group are the people who are more "situation focused": When a situation lacks a satisfying end for them, they stick to it much, much longer. They can't focus their minds on other things, but go over and over and over this nonsatisfying experience again. He didn't say anything about the proportional parts of women and men in these two types, but intuitively I'd agree that this is more a "women thing" (also I met many men as well who have similar problems).
By the way: this can run out of control, as I read yesterday in the newspapers. A 48 year-old woman called the police and the ambulance in pure desperation, because her friend didn't stop to talk about her relationship problems with her boyfriend. The friend had been sitting in the woman's living room for 30 (!!!) hours at this point, constantly going on and on and on about the same things and ignoring every faint attempt to make her leave ...
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Permalink Reply by Ramona on -
I heard about this 'emergency call' yesterday, too, and wondered how someone can keep talking for 30 hours without break ...
Regarding the proportion of men and women, I would have made the same guess as you, Felicitas, that women are more likely to already having experienced such situations. Over and over again, until one is really mentally exhausted. Thus, this means that even if we are trying to work on ourselves to get rid of this (sometimes) annoying habit that can drive us to despair, by e.g. buying piles of books with clever advices, it might be possible that we will not succeed in it as the structure of our brains will allow this only to a certain extent?
Honestly, I really think we should sometimes try to handle issues more the way men do: To get them out of our thoughts, as far as possible, if we really can not do anything about them any more, in order to concentrate again on the really important things in life. Yes, easy to say but hard to do, especially as some of us women are also experts in "self-destruction", making it not at all easier!
But, for such situations it is good to have friends. However, take care not to become the reason for another emergency call, as happened recently in Germany ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on
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Now that's a clever approach: instead of always trying to make men change, we should watch and learn from them - of course only useful things ... ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Sheetal on -
You are so right, instead of hoping for men to change, we should do it ourselves...no harm in learning a good thing for them.
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Permalink Reply by Corrina on -
You know, I thought long and hard before I replied to this one because i know, due to my training, I tend not to handle problems the same as most woman. However, I have 1 main question before I address any of the rest of this. When are woman going to say, "I feel ________ (insert emotion) and it's ok that I feel this way." For some reason woman have been taught that it's not ok to be angry or upset or any other emotion besides pleasant and happy. I don't know about you but, sometimes, I get angry or upset and I don't feel better until I know it's ok for me to feel that way. Now, I don't have to ask anyone if it's ok for me to feel that way. I just look at the situation or what was done and think about it for a minute. Most of the time, though, when I look at it this way I find it's not worth being upset about and move on. I firmly believe 80 to 85% of woman's mental "blocks" would go away if they would look at the situation. Ask what their feelings were and then why it made them feel that way. Then once they figure that out say it's ok to feel that way or say it's not worth feeling this way. Once I figured out how to do this I found my problems don't seem so big.
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