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Do personality changes over time?
Some say a leopard will never change it spots but I really wonder. Do we have a primary personality and that is overshadowed by a secondary personality?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by nalini on -
I don't know what it says in theory, but as i see it, personality does change over time.
We adapt to our environment and in so doing, consciously and unconsciously, we change our behaviour, our attitudes, our way of interaction with others.
The environment, both animate and inanimate, has an effect on us, which again changes our views, attitudes and behaviour.
The rate of change and the degree of change may vary from person to person but certainly we don't die as the same person who was born.
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Permalink Reply by Adam on -
Depending on the theory, personality does change. Maybe I should say that the more accurate and recent theories comment that personality is dynamic (always changing).
For instance, I grew up a little shy [INFP // Phlegmatic and Melancholy // Peacemaker(9) // Dreamy Idealist] and, as Nalini has already let us know, I became more spontaneous and friendly [ENFP // Sanguine and Phlegmatic // Helper(2) and Achiever(3) // Spontaneous Idealist] after getting into a new environment (college).
I still have that streak of Peacemaker that stays with me while also containing the Helper and Achiever. Some things change and others do not. I am willing to say that its different depending on the events in life and how we react to them.
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Permalink Reply by LaidBackRicky on -
I believe we have a primary "code" that will never change wich shapes our primary instinct and leads most part of our actions and thoughts, besides that, we have a personality wich is constantly changing with the world surrounding and adapting to new chalenges or new ways of life.
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Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on -
To answer your question, Nalini: Yes, C.G. Jung himself believed that personality does change over time. He thought that there are the four functions which are the base of his theory (and our test) and that we are all born with certain preferences for ONE of the two poles of each function. However, he thought that over a lifetime, one's goal should be to develop what he called the "shadow" function - i. e. the not preferred ones - in order to finally reach a mature state of personality where all four functions are well balanced and one can use BOTH poles of each function equally (more or less).
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Permalink Reply by Sierra on -
I agree that our personality changes over time, and with experiences. In my case, I'm seeing that it may not be 'for the good'. I'm 50 now, & I've been raising my grandson since he was two years old, 11 now, who has Reactive Attachment Disorder & I feel like it has changed me. I used to be so idealistic & very loving, but having been pushed, as well as 'the push-me pull-you game' of RAD, has literally pushed me to a very sinical & hard place emotionally. There has been nothing harder for me in my adult life than being constantly manipulated by someone that I wanted to love so much (idealistic, huh?) But that's the way I love to love. I had such a hard time seeing the games, seeing the manipulations, but when I finally HAD to see them, for his sake and for my own, it was an aweful blow to my idealistic nature... aarrgg.. reality sucks. So, how do I get back to that loving place? Or is this the shadow side, and a good thing for me to learn about? If it is, there's still the problem that it is making me very unhappy, very hard emotionally, & it has made me feel more like an introvert than extrovert. In fact, the test was really hard for me because I kept coming up introvert until my husband lent me some insight that I was answering the questions based on my emotional exhaustion rather than my real desire to be around people. Part of me has been giving-up in relationships & my relationships are suffering. I'm ultrasensitive to manipulation now & I just want to either fight or run. Not a good place for an "engaged" "idealist"... It's the opposite of who I really am.
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Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on
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When I read you entry, Sierra, I really felt like reading lines written by myself. I'm a mixture of SR and EI, and though I haven't had to stand such a difficult situation with one single person like you have with your grandson (thank God!), I have had my own experiences with people I wanted to love very much but who manipulated and hurt me many many times before I managed to protect myself appropriately. And I think you're right in thinking that this is a good thing to learn for people like us - although I wished for you that you wouldn't have had to learn it from your grandson. I very well know this exhaustion you describe and have learned to recognize it as an alarm signal that once again I've gone far beyond my limits as far as commitment and dedication towards others were concerned. I meanwhile know my tendency to saddle myself with self-chosen missions which are impossible to fulfill and my tendency to adhere stubbornly to these although I'm at the end of my rope. The usual result is that I come to a point where I despair of humanity in general and withdraw myself from any relationships. Luckily, I'm a very disciplined person (this is my SR-part, I suppose) and as a therapist I know pretty well that I hurt myself in the long run in doing so. So I usually grant myself a short period of several weeks for pull-out, and after that I push myself in checking carefully which of my social relationships are the "bloodsuckers" and which ones are the "battery charging stations". I then step by step reactivate the latter ones, even if I don't feel like it, this is just a brain-driven thing, whilst carefully staying away from the bloodsuckers. It takes some time, but then my usual energy returns and I feel like my "usual self" again. And the learning circle starts over again ...
As far as I'm concerned, I have been going through this learning circle since I can remember, but I look at it as kind of an upward-spiral: the phases of exhaustion get shorter and the alarm signals show up earlier. And I start to allow myself to failure now and then. I learn to accept that there are things I am not able to change and people I am not able to save on this world, even if I want it so much. It's kind of a lesson in humbleness. I'm not almighty and I am not capable of everything. I have to accept my limits. And love and respect myself despite (or even because of?) them.
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Permalink Reply by Sierra on
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... wow... wow...(whispered)wow... First let me thank you for taking the time to really tune in & respond to my post... wow... I feel so heard .. thank you, thank you.. I thought that the situation with my grandson had changed me but after reading this I'm thinking maybe it's just the emotional exhaustion part of it.. that maybe I'm still in there somewhere with hope and love for humanity... I mean, I do have hope & I do so love (like a verb)... but I feel so foolish. I wouldn't be the first to be called a fool for love & it's not the worst thing someone could call me.. So maybe my sinility.. no! sinicleness.. yeah... is from exhaustion, being drained, trying to do something I just can't do.... I went out to have a soda with two girlfriends just over a week ago and came home with so much energy and I thought.. "this is weird! I feel... energized. I thought I was an introvert and here I am feeling good after two hours with some girlfriends!" It was weird. But it was a really great conversation, deep, full of insight for all. I can't stand to sit and make small talk, THAT drains me as badly as lies & manipulations... and maybe, for me, they're the same thing because I feel like I see below the surface of surface conversations, read between the lines of "it's all good" conversations. I start out bored, then I get irritated, then sometimes, I'm ashamed to say, I end up stirring things up to break through the barriers.. not good. Anyway, that was a great conversation the other night. I guess I need more of that. So thank you for your insights &.. well.... (shyly) the attention.
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Permalink Reply by marita on -
I think people as it undergoes on different changes of development and experiece develop a personality but this i think was affected by his experiences during his child hood life. But sometimes when people fail, fall, regret for wrong done, he would stand up again different from who he is before
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Permalink Reply by ♥ Sabine ♥ on -
Personality changes for the better with age.
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Permalink Reply by ABBI on -
Our personality might be quite timid or introverted, However fortunately or unfortunately, circumstances cause us to put on a shell. You are quite right when you talk about primary and secondary personalities. The secondary personality is a persona that we present to society. Read Jungian theory to understand this. The middle age phenomenon is also interesting , but I don't think it is our personality changing,, I believe it is just us adapting to circumstances
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