Do personality disorders ever realize they have a personality disorder? Or does their personality disorder prevent them from seeing clearly enough to be able to observe the disorder in themselves?

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Permalink Reply by Jessica on March 22, 2009 at 9:55am

I agree. I know of people with various disorders that realize they have the disorder and know something is wrong and know they have to take medicine, seek therapy etc for their disorder (one is schizophrenic). I know of people with various disorders who are in denial (one has bipolar disorder). So it depends. There are many others who have cases of schizophrenia and are unaware and think they have nothing wrong and there are many who have bipolar disorder and know they have the disorder and seek to help themselves ("An Unquiet Mind" is a book written by a person with bipolar disorder).

Saying all people don't realize or all people do realize is unrealistic. Statistics proves otherwise. Not all people with personality disorders have been diagnosed, therefore no one knows for certain whether or not all people with personality disorders know or don't know they have a disorder. Humans are unique and remarkable. Just like their are children prodigies there will always be those that don't follow the guidelines. Perhaps most or many or the majority may not know and if that's the case then studying those that do know and finding out why they are different from the majority may help those that don't know or won't accept their disorder.

I think it's interesting to study different people and their cases to see if they do or don't realize their disorders and how it effects them. Are they better off not knowing they are "different" then "normal" people?

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Permalink Reply by Felicitas Heyne on March 17, 2009 at 10:15am

I'd like to recite a passage from Ronald J. Comer, "Abnormal Psychology", a standard book at our University when I was studying. (Please don't mind my English - originally it's an American book, but we read it in German, of course, so I have to re-translate it now.): "Personality disorders and the problems they cause create a life-long burden, though various disorders have various impacts on the person concerned. (..) Personality disorders belong to those mental disorders which are very difficult to heal. Situation is complicated by the fact that most people affected by personality disorders are not at all aware of being 'different' from others and are therefore not able to link their problems to their own mental and physical behaviour. Personality orders put less pressure on the person affected, but more on the people who are in daily contact with the patient."

From my (personal and professional) experience, this is absolutely true. I think the key to the problem is the last sentence: the pressure on the patient created by (most of these) disorders is far less than on his/her social surrounding. It's less the patient, who suffers, but his/her friends, family, collegues and so on. And therefore, there's usually a lack of motivation of change: why should anyone change anything about him/herself without suffering? Because of the people surrounding him/her, to do them a favour? Hardly ever. Usually, people gain their motivation for a change from a certain mental pressure, suffering, or at least dissatisfaction. But that's exactly the problem with those affected by mental disorders; they are usually very satisfied with themselves - in their eyes, the others are the problem and therefore, those should change!

There's certainly a grey area, as in most cases (I'd never claim that a Borderliner, e. g., does enjoy his/her tendency to hurt him/herself), but none of the persons affected by a personality disorder I've met ever was convinced that the problem really resulted from him/herself. It's always the fault of the others. And usually, most of them deny the diagnosis when confronted with it. And hardly any of them is ever ready to accept that this is a life-long disposition, even if he/she might manage to develop better strategies to deal with it.

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Permalink Reply by Sierra on March 18, 2009 at 7:52pm

Oh, thank you so much for your contribution to this discussion. To see the actual definition is so helpful, enlightening, supportive.

So I will get right to my struggle. If I am with someone who has the personality disorder, I am feeling crazy & burdened, & they are feeling pretty much ok, happy, satisfied, as well as sure that "the problem", if indeed they see any problem at all, is me. I, on the other hand, will work work work on myself, trying to grow, trying to address, trying to heal "the problem", & it seems that by the very definition, that "the problem" is in the person with the personality disorder, thereby, I am doing exactly what they are doing, pinning it on the other person. See what I mean? So, is the only answer to get away from the person with the personality disorder? And that is where I feel such sadness.. that it is hopeless.. that there is no hope of reconciliation. But if that is the truth, the Truth, then I am willing to face it, I HAVE to be willing to face it.

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